Sunday Poem By Nasima Khatun

FAMILY?

I was in the kitchen prepping for lunch,
I don’t mind cooking, really,
But they imposed me with it so tightly,
That it became my responsibility,
then a burden, a huge burden
that I could not get it off,
Or you were pushing it down on me every day.
I silently, cooked all the three meals,
done every other household chores,
Because I was born for it.

It would be too much to expect freedom from you,
you are nothing but a stranger to me,
My most familiar being turned their back on me,
Father? He was a man,
And mother, she exhausted me,
Both of them snatched away my dreams,
Cut my wings, plucked my feathers,
I was bleeding silently,
And screamed a thousands of unheard screams,

It pained more, when my brother
was allowed to do everything he wanted,
Was forgiven for all the mistakes,
And spared few million times,
I got wounded, scarred and then wounded again.
now they put me into a contract marriage,
Because my mom said, “I will use you all I want as long as I can,
And then your in-laws will,
I’ll not be able to get repaid once you’re married…”.

‘Loving family’, is like a fairytale to me
Something I have always hoped for
Till the age of nineteen, I’ve always deluded myself
into believing it.
As soon as I hit twenty,
All of my sparkly bubbles bursted by the thorns of reality.

To have a loving parents was my dream,
But as the years passed,
The harsh truth marked on my skin every day,
Reminded me that everything was just my wishful thinking,
I don’t even know why I believed in such lies made by me.

I was happy that I had no stepmom like cinderella,
Not knowing she was worst,
Rather I wanted a Prince Charming like her,
But my knight in shining armor protected me in his own way,
By not letting me free.

I wished I never knew the reality,
Then again, I didn’t want to make fool out of myself
In the name of naivety,
Truth is never satisfying and that is why it’s the truth

And I was married to this stranger,
Who is now talking and laughing with his friends
and sipping the tea that I have just made,
And the cup that I wash a dozen times every day,
Yes, my husband loves tea,
And he never took ‘no’ as an answer for anything,
Sitting on the couch that I brought from my home and cleaned every day,
Because he couldn’t bare untidiness.
One of his friend suggested to sell the car he had,
He said, “do you even know how much this car is worthy to me,
it has taken me miles and miles away”.

‘Miles away’, yes, I wanted to go as far as I could,
But now I barely come out of my home,
I have lost all of my contacts with my friends,
I had a really memorable times with them,
But they are gone like the morning dew in winter,
these beautiful memories are poking my wound open,
And I barely can remember them anymore.

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