Poetry – Hannah Nicole D’souza


Immortal in my heart you have been rendered,
Immortal in my world you shine,
Immoral I am in my desires,
Immoral I am in my efforts
To have you and cherish you once again,
Yet you lie embalmed in my embrace.
I cannot recede this wave of grief
That floods my perverse soul.
I cannot quell the memories
That rise amidst your departed grace.
I cannot repress the desire of Death
That you leave in your wake.
I wish for mercy, I wish for grace,
I wish just once to glance upon your celestial face,
Full of light and an undefeated smile.
And though tonight, I hold your celestial form,
The Moon has taken your shine
And Time, your smile.
Between our two dead hearts—
Blessed I am to still hold you still,
Blessed I am to love you still,
Cursed I am to not have you
For newer memories to build.
Cursed I am to live seventy times further in hopes that you’d come—
To haunt me and taunt me— you in your relentless spirit.
Blessed I am to suffer for the seventy minutes late, that cannot be undone.
Dream I do, of you and I,
You and I, together.
I’ll walk the night,
With only one cause,
The cause of us being together.
So as you rest, among the stars,
As I mourn in your departed wake,
Talk to me in dreams, of days I’ll never see, of the sun and all that light.
Talk to me of lives we could have lived, of the world full of hue— and memories in a slide.
Talk to me— of you, who I only dream of within these concrete walls, Blinded by hate and all things innate.
Speak to me of your colours, with your lovely smile,
Speak to me of all that you oversee from your palace in the sky.
Speak to me
And let me too,
Speak to you of my perpetual nights—
The immortal black that relentlessly stains it.
Of my dead heart that has brought me here,
Of my hands that felt your life seep out of them,
Of my soul, that you kept alive, vanquished too.
Speak to me and I shall tell you, of your absence that torments me,
Madness that drove me to run our streets with blood.
Speak to me about your vibrant tales.
Speak and then listen—
In the dreary night
For my ached wails
For my poisoned veins that still breathe life into me.
Speak and listen for—
The souls I’ve condemned in your name.
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